Dear You,
A little big Thank You to let you know how much your support has meant to Beda and myself personally. This time last year, we had only just started to talk about potentially actualising our community and to think, within the span of a year, we managed to hold 7 community events. All our new and old connections IRL have 100% been instrumental in our growth and in fact, inspired all of our exclusive merch (which I was so sure we would never do when we launched in 2021 - interestingly and possibly because there was no larger sense of community yet. It’s funny how that evolves, and the lesson I learnt is to be curious. I used to think it was important to be “serious” and to stick to initial visions but I’ve learnt that it’s more important and productive to “wear pants baggy enough” to allow for life to enter.
On a personal note, I’ve experienced more anxiety than ever before - there were weeks where I was riddled with anxiety, unable to sleep, crying uncontrollably no matter where I was, on a walk, preparing a meal, writing an email... To the point where I feared I had permanently lost my “spark”, my sense of joy, my identity.
My habit is to intellectualise my feelings, to give reason, but these were major signs from my body that I had pushed too far. To process fully and truthfully will require slowing down - which may slow down the growth of Beda but I know this will only benefit our community.
Anytime I’m slapped with a setback, I try my best to see it as a redirection. This mindset is rooted in self-respect and taking accountability. For example, even though MATE is now unavailable for Q1 (hopefully you’ve stocked up), this “bad” news has now presented itself as an exciting chance for us to ensure better quality products for you and to scale up properly. I can only do this if Ichoose to operate out of curiosity instead of fear.
One final thought and to quote author Elizabeth Gilbert:
every day you can choose to be curious
"A creative life is a life where consistently, habitually, routinely, you choose the path of curiosity over the path of fear. Not once, not twice, but all the times.”
(Not easy because it requires total discipline, but the alternative is to have an existence in limbo, which coincidentally is my biggest fear.)
“In a world that fetishizes passion, curiosity offers sustainable motivation that allows for continuous growth and unique self-expression. When you choose curiosity over fear, you invite a life that is as expansive and limitless as your willingness to explore the unknown”.
So I invite you once again to start a note on your phone titled "Art I didn't Ask for" and write down all the little and big things that made you feel feelings - joy, sadness, anger, nostalgia.. all of it. Consider it a starting point for your curiosity. You can see my 2024 list in the photo above and for the previous year 2023 here. Wishing for more curiosity for all of us in 2025.
With love,
Rachel
